I didn’t start out that way. I started out completely optimistic and hopeful. I truly believed that all you had to do was keep moving forward with your passion and you would eventually get there. However, no one told me that life was going to happen in the ways that it did.

A series of devastating events had me questioning everything that I thought I knew. I was left heart-broken, tired, jagged and defeated. How are you supposed to live the life of your dreams when you’re enduring your worst nightmares?

Here’s what I did:

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Here’s the thing, I realize now that I made a critical mistake of thinking that God’s purpose was a straight and narrow road. I prided myself that I was doing what He told me to do, which most people don’t. I never anticipated that this would mean that I’d have to endure things I didn’t want to endure for longer than I wanted to endure them.

“Wait God, I already sacrificed! I left my job and my friends to follow you. You didn’t say it would be EVEN MORE difficult!”

However, one miscarriage, a cancer journey, financial crisis, difficult family dynamics, multiple deaths in the family, failed new client attempts and MULTIPLE work trials all within six months later, I was at a complete loss. I thought surely, this isn’t what God wanted for me.

He made me to thrive not barely survive. Something must be wrong. I must be wrong. What did I do Lord? Did I anger you?

I took me a long time, but I had to realize that I was giving myself way too much credit. I was believing that anything I did would make God change His path for me. Not true!

God’s path for me withstood. I just had a few detours along the way that were the enemy’s attempts to distract me. It makes perfect sense! If I’m on track to fulfill God’s mission for Him, why not throw things my way to distract me, or better yet, make me quit!

From God’s prospective, why not allow it to give me the opportunity to show and prove myself to Him and to myself?

It’s what I used to do as a teacher. I didn’t always give my kids the answers, even when I knew exactly what they needed to figure things out. Sometimes, I let them struggle because I knew that they would eventually get it right. As a matter of fact, the more capable the student, the less I assisted in the struggle.

Look Sis, I know what you are going through is difficult and you are one disgruntled client email away from throwing in the towel, but consider this.

Consider looking not at the struggle, but the journey. There’s a quote that I love. It says,

“Everything is okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end.”

No matter how difficult the struggle, and trust me, I know there are some tough battles that you are likely facing; never forget that God hasn’t left you. He’s there right beside you, hoping that you pull through and ready to catch you if you don’t.

He might not be interfering for your own growth and development. He knows your limits, and in His perfect timing He will give you relief. Just be prepared. The relief might not look how we thought or wanted it to look, but don’t underestimate that He gave it to you.

So, what did I do to keep my sanity in the meantime?

Here’s how I survived my struggles:

1 – I surrounded myself with positivity through music and motivational speaking. I’m a fairly optimistic person, but at my low points, I had no words. Instead I used other’s positive words to wrap my broken heart.

I prayed… a lot… like a lot, lot! Some prayers were typical, while others were three words long, “God save me.” “God help me.” “I need you.” No matter the prayer, I know the Lord heard me. Any time I felt despair creep in, I called on my Father.

2 – I humbled myself. I never realized how prideful and judgmental I could be until the shoe was on the my foot. I realized that I had not been as compassionate with others as I should have been. I humbled myself and sorrowfully repented.

3 – I relaxed in the Spirit. After seeking wise counsel, I realized that I was trying to control too many things. I was drowning because I was holding on to too much. So, I had to learn to be still and let God take control.

4 – Last but most importantly, I CHOSE JOY. Life is not fair. It never will be. If you wait for joy to come to you, you might be waiting til kingdom come! I had to learn how to find my joy every single day in spite of my circumstances.

Once I allowed these things to happen, my life took a turn for the better. I’m now genuinely happier than I’ve been in a very long time. I can’t thank God enough for that!